Who You Are is NOT Defined by What You Do
It’s amazing how perspective changes over time. When I first quit work, I felt I had to justify my existence as a Stay at Home Dad (SAHD) by using all the titles of my “past life”. I would meet people and when they would ask, “Oh, what do you do?” I’d go into my canned speech, of, “well, I used to be a geologist, but now I’m a stay at home dad, but I do all this other stuff to make up for it.” As if I’m apologizing for not working or something… When probed about how easy it should be to find work around OKC, I’d go on about, nope, not looking for work right now, just volunteering and doing family stuff. Then I’d even talk about all the volunteering I was doing like it would earn me a prize or something.
Later, much later, I realized I was looking for validation since I wasn’t getting that with many of my current volunteer roles. I mean sure, everyone loves a volunteer, but where’s my performance review?! Where’s a bonus showing how well I did?! Where’s a gold sticker for fucks sake?! Oh right, I don’t get those because it’s volunteering and um, well, that doesn’t happen. So, what happened to make me not even mention my past life anymore, much less my new job, and now I can be more than okay with it? A perspective shift, confidence in who I am, and accepting my current role for what it is.
