Friends, Fun, and Fowling

A couple of weekends ago I was able to attend the Econome conference in Cincinnati, and readers, it was the refresh I needed. I wouldn’t have attended this conference had it not been for Military Dollar suggesting I should attend and she was super supportive throughout the process because let me tell you. I got the ticket, booked flights, and a room, and the next thing you know life happened and I freaked out and cancelled all of those plans. After a month of debating, I decided that I was just being cheap, not frugal and I needed to attend, so I repurchased everything, lol.

Finally, Friends IRL

I have to say that I’m so glad that I did because, my God, do I love the people in this personal finance space and community. From the time I landed until after the conference was over, I was reminded why I felt such a great connection with everyone I met. Everyone has such great stories about where they are on their personal journey, along with the openness and vulnerability to share that information, and also are usually more than welcome to answer questions about any of it. When I attended my first PF event, it was Fincon ’17 and I got to finally meet so many people I’d interacted with online, but this time in real life! I wrote a post titled, “I found my tribe”, because I left like I found a place that I belonged, and was welcomed. Friends, that didn’t change with future events, like Fincon ’18, and Camp FI’s that I’ve attended, and it held true with Econome.

I got to meet even more, new, online friends in person, I got to make even more, new friends, and again, it was the refresh that I needed in so many ways. I’ve been absent from the blog for a while now. Not unexpected, because who wants to read about divorce, finding yourself, post divorce life, post divorce life without a career, and figuring out life in general, in a new state? Hell, I don’t want to write about it, so I can’t imagine anyone wants to read about it. Instead of just continuing to publish those types of stories, I just shelved it and moved on. Had my, probably bluehost blog renewal happened a few weeks earlier than it came up, I would’ve probably scrapped the blog and moved on with life, being a “PF Lurker” on Twitter and calling it good. However, after talking with everyone I met over that weekend, it really did a couple of things for me that make me feel happy to remain a part of this group of people.

Why Econome Made Me Feel Happy

The first, was that it validated the feeling that, “This is okay.” Being where I am in life now is okay, and so what if I never get back to oil and gas? I loved being a petroleum geologist and I had a blast doing it, but if I don’t get back to that lifestyle, I’m okay with that, and that’s okay. I feel like the support group in Wreck It Ralph, talking about being bad guys, “I’m bad and that’s good…” While I don’t feel like a bad guy, it’s hard for me accepting that, and realizing that, and you know what? That’s okay. If I never practice as a petroleum geologist again, that will suck because I loved it, but life moves on. I have lots of other shit to explore in the meantime.

The second, was that I feel like a failure on a lot of levels. Lots of levels. While I can reassure myself, that this waves arms around head isn’t a “fail”, and I’m defined more than that relationship, and blah dee balh, blah…. Let me tell you friends, it feels like a big fail from where I sit. My second reason was because I had lots of people build me up, affirm that if that is failure, they’d like to fail like that, and more. That was good for me, because while I’ve heard that similar thing from different therapists, they’re kinda paid to be supportive and it’s like your mom telling you “You’re the best!” Are you really? So, it was nice hearing the same types of affirmation from friends, and strangers. It may seem petty, but the acceptance and validation, keeps me sticking around for more.

Finally, the other reason I’m happy that I went to Econome, was the fact that beyond feeling re-energized about life, feeling affirmation on lots of levels, and connecting with people. I also, got about 5 or 6 ideas with notes and prompts about new blog post topics that I connected with, felt passionate about and want to write about. For me, that was huge! I haven’t read very many (maybe a handful) PF articles or blogs this year, and it reminded me that sure it’s cyclical, and the same topics come up and die, and new people start and they come up and die, but usually there’s a little spin added. Even if there isn’t, it’s good keeping that stuff more in the forefront of my brain than just piddling away in the back of my brain shooing me away, saying, “no, no, we’ve got this, we’re good.” So that’s nice for me as well. A good reminder that, I don’t have all this known and down pat, and like anything, use it or lose it. It’s not the main things I need refreshers on, it’s the nuanced, fine details stuff like drawdon plans and well, I don’t have a glideslope, because I was sort of chucked off a cliff into this, so goodbye glide slope, hello, plunging freefall! lol

It’s not that crazy, but it feels like it sometimes. I heard at least 5 different topics I’d like to expand on, with the blog and provide my own take on. Because, life happens, it ebbs, it flows, sometimes you’re in the positive side and sometimes you’re on the negative side, and while I can’t say I’ve decided which side I’m on, it’s feeling pretty damn positive from where I’m sitting. It doesn’t always feel like this. Random Wednesdays when I’m home most of the day solo, working on the computer, just snuggling with Bolt and needing to hit the grocery, do laundry, put away laundry, prep school, get homework ready to get copies printed, etc… It can feel like a letdown.

Shift Your Mindset: Always to Positive

I just have to remember to shift my mindset. Don’t get stuck in the negative of whatever I’m feeling that day, but rather look at the positive. Positive mindset can affect a lot of change, and framing it as I have the freedom that I can take Wednesday off to focus on school, and snuggle with Bolt, and have Price is Right on in the background, as filler noise, entertainment and a time keeper to know when I should get ready to pause and hit the grocery or go walk or jog or do something else. That’s freedom. Being able to show up to work or not and having the financial flexibilty to also support that is amazing.

Those 3 things alone would have made it worth it for me, but then one of the better aspect of this conference over other conference style events, is that Sunday was essentially down time, and created for socialization. The structure was setup, so that you didn’t have to choose between hanging out and continuing to socialize with friends, or miss a talk, like how other conferences are usually structured. That was awesome! I got inroduced to the wonderful world of Fowling, where you throw footballs (overhand, not like rolling them) at bowling pins. It sounds easy, but man, was it harder than it looked. It was definitely fun though and provided more opportunities to meet and talk with other conference goers, and I got to meet 4 new people during that event. Then head to another bar after that, and I met even more new people! What a great conference. If you have the opportunity, I recommend it. Although the next one isn’t until Spring 2023, so, plan ahead. Far ahead, lol.

Summary

I needed an event like Econome to go and reconnect with old friends, and find new friends, and get excited about this Lifestyle Change again. It wasn’t how I planned at all, but damnit, it’s mine and I’m kind of settling into it. Thanks, friends! Thnks old friends, thanks new friends, and thanks everyone that’s been there supporting me on the way whether I knew it or not. I appreciate it and am glad to have been active here and met you, whether in person or online. It’s been great and thanks!

Do you find yourself needing events like this to reenergize you about your hobby, passion, lifestyle interest? How does it work for you? Have you been to a PF conference sort of event? What did you think about it? I’d love to hear about it below!