False Peaks Suck!

For anyone that’s ever done any mountaineering, or just plain old hiking in the mountains you’ve experienced false peaks. For those not aware of the term, it’s essentially when you see “the top”, push to “the top”, only to get to “the top”, and then you see the actual peak even higher than where you currently are. It can be defeating, if you’re the kind of person to let mountains push you around, lol. I kid, I kid. But recently I’ve found out I’ve been dealing with nothing but false peaks, and I’m just about ready to pack up and hit the beach. Seriously…

Most of my false peaks seem to be around work, and income. I had been applying to jobs back in January, February, and I mostly stopped around March. In all, I applied to 42 jobs, and heard exactly nothing back from any of them, lol. Why did I stop? Lots of reasons, but these are the main ones.

First, there were no new jobs appearing, just the same handful of positions I’d already applied to.

Second, this whole buzz about some virus coming out of Wuhan seemed to rattle people.

Third, I had been talking with My CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) supervisor in January and she hooked me up with her daughter for a potential position with her son-in-law’s excavation company. Anyway, that hasn’t panned out yet, lol, but no worries, I’m optimistic.

Fourth, she mentioned that CASA would need a new supervisor position sometime around the 1st quarter and I’d be her preference for that position, so I was mostly just waiting for that, but applying other places, in the meantime.

Fifth, and final reason was that she (same CASA supervisor) also mentioned that she would love to help fund, start, work at, the child advocacy center I had approached her about starting.

Those are a myriad of reasons and seem to be scattered, but each one was a false peak and here’s why.

Starting Over

At that time, I felt more hamstrung at not being able to access funds because of the ongoing divorce and you’re not supposed to divest of any assets during said time, blah, dee blah, blah… I’d been shopping houses on Zillow and knew I could find something very good for our purposes between $80k and $130k. Yay, flyover country housing prices! While I couldn’t move on anything, I researched enough to know my range for a house purchase. I’d started a business plan and found that even at 2 visits a day, at $30/hr for only 50 weeks of the year, it would be profitable. Anything beyond that is lagniappe, in my opinion. If I also offered parenting classes, or other income generating concepts like that, again, it’s just more money. Yay, money!!

Where’s the False Peak?

The thing that kills me, is that I’d love to have my supervisor on board because she has a career’s worth of experience in social work and that’s invaluable. BUT, O.M.G. is she like trying to catch a flying bat with your bare hands. Anyone ever try that? Anyone? It goes as well as you could imagine, lol. If we were dating, I’d say I’ve been ghosted. That’s what the kids say these days right? So, that stinks because she was up for taking no pay for a year or 2, if needed, AND since they (her and her husband) both work, they could help with getting a mortgage and I could use my capital for opex, not startup costs. Or not ALL startup costs.

So, that sucks… I was really optimistic about that, but it’s been stuck in the mud waiting on someone that has SO much going on, she makes me look lazy. Yes, Purple Life, there are people even busier than me. And she works! So, that sucks… But, I’m not letting it get me down. I’m just revamping my business plan, and working out how much house I can cash float and MOST importantly, how much I’d have left to float the business.

False Peak #2

Recently, CASA had an audit, and they’ve spent a month or so preparing for it and should be no probs for passing. However, during some socially distant firepit hangouts with my friends that are supervisors, there is exactly zero need for any new supervisors. This includes if one of their current supervisors quits.

Me: Wait, whaaaaaaa??? But… And… Wait… But…

So, that sucks… Yep, regardless of whatever has been spread around the office, they are nowhere near capacity, or overloaded with advocates to supervisors. Booo… I had been waiting for that to open up, and well, time for a new plan.

That one was a legit false peak though because I was like, nah, there’s not much urgency, I’ve got all these chickens about to hatch…

Reboot but Reboot What?

Well, this hasn’t discouraged me, per se, but I am definitely feeling the strain a bit more with me still spending money on things like food, bills, rent, insurance(s), child support, and more and there has been very little money coming back. Except for woodworking items. So far, those seem to be fairly well received and have generated actual monies!! Yay, monies! Lol, I’m the worst PF blogger ever. I think I should rebrand as A Dumpster Fire of a Lifestyle blog. It’s just a Lifestyle no one wants to live, or read about maybe? IDK… I could look up google analytics to check, so I’ve been told…

My Life Sucks?

Wait, I don’t think my life sucks. I’ve discussed this quite a bit recently with friends and we concur, I have a pretty sweet lifestyle right now, even with the Covid shutdown. Well, the shutdown in the rest of the country, we’re back in business here in OK already. Seriously, I actually like my current lifestyle, there’s just not much income being generated, so I kind of need to work on a replacement plan BEFORE it hits empty.

So then, what’s my plan? Glad you asked! First, I’m running numbers and comparing them to “actual money available” not just a ballpark estimate in my head to figure out how far down the road I can go with the child advocacy center solo. The first part is realizing, Win, lose, or draw, I’ll have a paid off house out of it, so that’s not a bad loss. Secondly, I’m spitballing ideas with friends about other things to add that could also bring in more income, like classes, or I don’t even know yet I’ve just started that research recently, as in yesterday… Finally, I can always buy the house, and then lease it back to myself from the non-profit, or for profit. I haven’t decided yet. Mainly, if non-profit, then what’s a good salary for me, and how difficult would it be to raise that salary if needed? I’m assuming my “rent” and salary won’t be paid the first year, so that’s a little scary.

Going solo opens up options though, because if my friend wanted to jump in, I could always offer her to buy in, catch up the late “rent”, past due salaries, etc… That’s always a thought. Also, if she bought in, we could structure it so we’d be splitting costs from that point forward, so I could in theory keep whole ownership of the house and property. Or, structure it if she wants to buy into half of the overall project and then, woohoo! Funds replenished, mostly! That’s another way to go about it.

While it might be slow going at first, it would still provide freedom to keep up woodworking to have “food income”, and I could also still be a CASA, PTA board member, and stay involved at the kids school, just maybe not AS involved. So, that’s a plus. Also, depending on the property, I could move my woodworking shop there and have a second “renter” on the property. I hope there’s a benevolent landlord running all of this. Oh wait, it’s me. I’m good. I hope. Plus, that would keep me at the property more, even during the day and I can be more productive, yes, MORE productive.

Just Get A Job, Lazyass!

Yes, I hear this a LOT. While I have a pseudo adjunct position, it’s tenuous at best and could get cut at anytime. Also, those bastards gave me the option to teach Fully Online, or On the Fucking Weekend… As much as I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, that sucks… So, I’m not sure how long this may last, lol because as I told them when asked about my preference, “To be honest, neither… lol” So, yay for a ”job I don’t like”. Life’s too short for that kind of crap. I may try it in the Fall and bail in the Spring, or see if the “fully online” is permanent or just a hiccup this semester due to Covid. Once it goes online full time, what incentive do they have to return it to an in-person class. None, in my opinion. I don’t want to teach badly enough to talk at a GD wall for 2.5 hrs a week. I’ve got better things to do. I don’t need the title, or act like I’m an academic, I’m just an adjunct instructor monkey that’s easily replaceable by the scores of laid off geologists that do care about titles and resume gaps and all that crap. That’s just not my bag, but teaching in person was fun, and brought positive energy each week, so I like that. Not enough to talk to walls and never see students IRL. That’s not my bailiwick. For those of you that don’t know what bailiwick means, see below, lol.

I’d rather figure out how to make my Mostly Funded Lifestyle work for me rather than accept that it has failed and move on. I don’t accept failure! Nothing has failed yet. Except for my thoughts on opening a medical grow operation, but again, it comes down to passion versus needing money. At some point I’ll need money more than needing passion from my job. Maybe if I just hire a master grower to run it, I can cash float it, and manage it but not be super involved with the day to day of actual growing immediately. Even just a contract to have them help me get it setup would save me lots of growing pains, pun intended.

Summary

That’s where I am now. Standing on a False Peak, looking at the beach in the distance thinking, F this, I’m hitting the sand, baby! What will that look like? No clue, but what the hell, I’m game for it! Regardless of all this turmoil, upheaval in life, starting new schedules, and having no income, I’m still the happiest and most content I’ve been in a LONG while. So, things can’t be ALL bad right? They’re just working out like every other plan I’ve made in life to this point. If it was easy, we’d be dead, right?

Have you had any false peaks lately? Have you quit, pivoted to something better, or realized you’re just on the wrong damn mountain? I’d love to hear about it!